Thursday, January 14, 2010

Sulat-kamay

KULAPOL kulay-itim or ATM sa mga itlog na nakahanay sa balota—ganyan kadali ang pambatang libangan sa huling araw ng Semana Santa… paghahalungkat, paghahagilap ng mga nakatagong itlog… na pati yata ‘yung tinatawag sa Latin na subpoena (sa ilalim ng lawit) ay makakalkal sa naturang Easter egg hunt or erection, pardon the slip or slap but we can take it to mean the two-o-ten elections.

As those dancing babes on the idiot box would have it made simple for simpletons, the ballot vox populi—which isn’t exactly vox Dei—is all about ink-smearing a tray of eggs.

Matapos lumutang ang sangkatutak na putak, mga itlog lang talaga ang lalantad. Mag-aapuhap sa parade ng samut-saring itlog… baka naman ang talagang nais mapili ay may bayag… kalugod-lugod ang may gulugod.

Maghahalungkat nga ng nakapagitan nakapagitan sa eggs or legs… may Penoy ballot, may itlog na pula… abnoy… bugok… basag ang pula… ham and eggs… eggnog… egg giling mo, baby… even the likes of Ingmar Bergman’s “The Serpent’s Egg,” unhatched, yet through the thin membrane, one discerns the shape of a reptile.

Kapag ganyang dose-dosena, mas mainam yatang basagin na lang… can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs but, how about tocino del cielo or leche flan—just the yolks, the whites can be used as binder for mortar… the sort that went into the building of centuries-old churches.

Ah, hindi na pagsusulat ang paghalal. Pagkulapol na lang sa mga itlog… tila itlog ng pato na ilulublob sa putik na may asin para umalat… mud slinging as a political tact must have been derived from that.

T-teka… nitong ika-14 ng Enero’y “Pambansang Araw ng Sulat-kamay” sa Amerika, lupalop na natuklasan at isinunod nga sa pangalan ni Amerigo Vespucci… kung apelyido niya ang pinagkunan ng ipapangalan, baka mas katakam-takam pa ang Bestpussy… ‘kainis kasi ang katuturan ng Amerika, “mayamang kaluluwa.” They opted for the riches of the soul, dropping out a most desirable portion of the female anatomy.

Ipinagdiriwang pala ang sulat-kamay (‘di na uso ‘to)… which easily translates to a gesture of prayer… hands-on orison… sulat is Arabic for prayer.


Panalangin ang pagsusulat. At nakisalimpusa sa pagdiriwang ng “Pambansang Araw ng Sulat-kamay” over there at Rich-soul, Best-pussy… kaya inantig sa sulat ang mga pangalan ng paboritong anghel, kabilang na sina:

Cambiel, angel of increased intelligence and the courage to think in unconventional ways;
Barakiel, “Lightning of God,” who fills the heart with happiness, inspires joviality and a sense of humor;
Mael, ruling archangel of the water;
Rampel, angel of play and mountains;
Sachiel, angel of Thursday;
Pharzuph, angel of carnal delights;
Risnuch governs agriculture;
Sefoniel makes magic, wishes, dreams come true;
Metatron, chancellor of Heaven, highest power of abundance;
Simikiel grants destruction, vengeance, punishment… only if deserved—don’t ask unless you are in the right or it comes back at you threefold;
Kokaviel grants impossible things;
Duchiel helps keep the body-mind young;
Och of the Sun gives perfect health;
Taliahad, angel of water, physical strength, and safety.

Mas mahaba pa sa listahan ng kandidato… kung ilang pahinang talaan ng mga pangalan, kapangyarihan, at katangian ang sinabakan sa sulat-kamay… hands-on invocation… mas masaya kaysa magkulapol ng itim sa mga itlog.